Not talking

The silent treatment, ignoring someone, pretending they’re not there, just plain old not talking to someone. You don’t just up and decide you’re not speaking to someone overnight. There’s usually a reason; whether it’s a “good” reason or not can be debatable. I usually don’t recommend one person to not talk to another. I mean aren’t you supposed to talk things over to resolve a conflict? However, that can be a grey area for many people. And the decision to cut off communication with another is a decision some come by rather easily. I’m not one of those people. For me to not talk to someone and break off all communication it’s usually a last resort, straw that broke the camel’s back sort of situation.

I’m not altogether comfortable giving someone the silent treatment. I don’t like tension or drama. Not in my personal life and not in the work place. But there are times when a person is so toxic, extreme measures must be taken and self preservation is of importance. But then the question arises; how long does one not talk to this person for, how long does one keep this up? I don’t have an answer for that question. It’s an interesting and more common situation than I think.

The Job and New People in my Life

I was offered a position to work this summer at a “Regional Enrichment Center” (REC for short) within a grammar school located in Brooklyn. When my supervisor called to offer the job; I at first said no. I did not want to travel all over Brooklyn and deal with gas and tolls. But my supervisor didn’t listen to me and even mapped out the location while we were on the phone. Turns out the school is 20 minutes from my house without traffic. I have to be in at 7am so I miss a lot of the morning traffic thank God and I leave work at 1pm. I’m home by 1:25. I couldn’t ask for better hours or location. And I have the rest of the day to do whatever with my girls or go visit Thomas at his house, or whatever else I feel like doing.

I work with two other Dept of Ed nurses. I knew one nurse from my school but we never really talked and we didn’t know each other well. Well that has changed and I’m so thankful. Turns out we get along very well and I really like her. She’s a very no drama person; exactly who I like. I loathe drama especially in the workplace and my new friend feels that way too. I’m so glad we work together and were given the opportunity to get to know each other better.

The other DOE nurse we work with is wonderful also. She a very direct, real person and what you see is what you get. She’s very upfront and will tell you what’s on her mind. I love that. She talks a lot about her family and I enjoy listening. The three of us all get along very well and the day goes by so smoothly and drama-less.

Of course there are students who need a nurse for bumps and bruises and various situations. It’s so different from my school and the medically fragile students I care for. In fact it’s as if you’re comparing apples to oranges. I correct myself, there is no comparison really. The REC staff is great both paras and teachers. We have to take the staffs’ temperature every morning and it took me a while to learn everyone’s name. So now some of the staff will try and trick me and they’ll tell me that they are someone else. Too funny. Rumor has it the REC’s will be open until September. I’m so glad I have great co workers to spend the time with.

My Wedding Dress

I braved the storage part of our attic and managed to come out unscathed with the box that contained my carefully preserved wedding gown from close to 25 years ago. Alyssa wanted to try it on. I thought it was sweet. Late this afternoon was the time Alyssa, Lelly, Samantha and I had together to do it. I have to give mad props to my brother in law Vinny for the perfect condition my gown was in. He was the person who preserved it when he owned his own dry cleaning stores so many years ago.

The dress was as white and beautiful as I remembered it. The headpiece however didn’t fair as well as I had hoped. In all fairness it is truly a vintage piece of family history. The headpiece was my grandmother’s on my mom’s side. I remember searching and searching for it in her attic after I became engaged. I always told her if I found her headpiece I was going to wear it when I got married. Finally I found it, inside a very plain, non descript box. It was as if I found a treasure, I was so, so happy. My Aunt Marge worked on repairing the beading and cleaning this much sought after accessory. She did bring it back to all its glory and I did wear it when I married Tommy.

So I digress…my headpiece turned to an almost bronze color. Not white anymore. I suppose it could be worked on again to restore but Alyssa decided it wasn’t the style she wanted to wear and that’s fine. It’s her day.

Turns out my dress didn’t fit Alyssa. In all fairness my mom made the gown and it was truly a custom, totally made for my exact former gymnast measurements. At that time in my life I had a tiny waist and somewhat broad shoulders. The sleeves wouldn’t stay up on Alyssa. Then Lelly asked to try it on, of course I agreed. The waist fit but the shoulders were way too big. The sleeves wouldn’t stay up on her either. But they both looked so beautiful in my gown. It was such a lovely time to see my girls as young adults wearing my wedding gown, especially when one is a bride to be.

I Miss My Dad

It’s started yesterday, I just suddenly missed my dad. Yesterday morning was like any other Saturday. I woke up pretty early, went to Shoprite, as usual, came home and unpacked the groceries with Samantha. I remember walking back to my car from putting the cart in the cart corral and thinking, “I miss him.” It pretty much struck me out of nowhere.

After Samantha and I put the groceries away I went to my other usual haunt, the thrift store, I scored some ridiculously high priced Italian denim for 6.99 and a top for the fall, but that was about it. But driving home I thought about Daddy. I called my mom and we talked for a while. The weather was crazy hot this weekend so it wasn’t an outdoor weekend for us. I wanted to treasure hunt at TJ Maxx so Samantha came along. 2 hours later I wanted to exclaim, “it was a shopper’s sky at TJ Maxx!” Whenever I went shopping and had a great trip, daddy would say loudly that is was a “shopper’s sky!” wherever I just came from. I did have a great shopping trip to TJ Maxx and daddy would have appreciated it.

I want to tell him so many things. He would love that Alyssa is engaged and be just as proud and happy as we are of both Alyssa and Sam. I want to tell him about the motorcycle I’m riding now, that it’s smaller than the Sportster we bought first and that it’s red. I wonder what Daddy’s reaction would have been to this pandemic we’re in the midst of. He would have been very high risk due to fighting cancer and having had lung surgery in the past. I want to tell him about me working at the enrichment center in Brooklyn this summer; about the kids and my co workers. How nice the staff is and how school safety takes their job seriously yet they make the time to be fun and break our chops every morning.

There’s so much more I want to tell him. I could write pages as I’m sure anyone reading this who has lost a loved one could. I know daddy is with Jesus, we had a talk about faith before he was diagnosed again with cancer. I wear the cross I bought him, he asked me to get him one after we talked about Jesus and faith. I was so happy to do that for him. I miss my Dad.

And They’re Engaged!

My oldest daughter, Alyssa has been dating Sam for some time now. All through both their teen years. A couple of weeks ago Sam asked Tommy for his blessing in asking Alyssa to marry him. My husband said of course he had his blessing! We adore Sam. So we knew he was going to pop the question but we didn’t know when. Then we find out that Sam was taking Alyssa out to dinner for her birthday but he wouldn’t say where, it was a surprise… After dinner they came to see us and Alyssa was wearing a beautiful, perfect engagement ring. Sam and Alyssa were both beaming with happiness. We are so very happy for them! It’s exciting to see them in this stage of adulthood.

They are currently talking about where/when/how big they want their wedding to be. Tommy and I have wholeheartedly agreed we will support them in every way possible. This is all about Alyssa and Sam and what they want. Too many times wedding plans get derailed by people who for whatever reason begin to erroneously believe that the event is all about them and not the bride and groom.

God has placed them together for His plan. And I know in my heart they will carry out whatever The Lord directs in their life. As Alyssa’s mom I am not worried about losing her. She’s my daughter and always will be. Sam is very welcome to become a member of our family. He always has been. Welcome Sam!!

The Big 2-5 and 5-0

This year Tommy and I celebrate 2 major events. One: we will be married 25 years and we both turned 50. All during a pandemic. My birthday was in April and my family did an incredible job in making it so special for me. I felt so loved and I was definitely spoiled. Tommy and I had plans to go away for our anniversary but Covid took care of that and we never even got past the planning/decision making stage. Our summer vacation to Sanibel Island, Florida also seems like it will not happen due to covid. I already planned to take the week off so even if we don’t go away I’ll still have somewhat of a vacation and enjoy the time off. There’s always day trips and going out on the boat and motorcycle riding.

It’s hard to believe we’ve been married for 25 years. I distinctly remember laying on the beach while on our honeymoon in Maui and Tommy and I were talking about making plans to return to Hawaii “maybe after 20 years.” Before the corona virus hit us we did talk about celebrating this anniversary in Hawaii, but between the travel time and jet lag we didn’t feel we would have enough time to really enjoy ourselves.

As for turning 50…that’s an odd feeling. Of course I don’t feel 50, do any of us actually feel our age? In my mind I think I’m like 30, which is funny because 30 is the birthday I had the worst time with. I cried all day. Big baby. When this birthday came around I was and still am fine with it. The good Lord has seen me through this far and He will continue to be there for me. Never leaving or forsaking me. No matter what storm comes my way, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is with me. I’m so very blessed. I have 4 healthy children who make me laugh and I really enjoy spending time with; and a spouse who calls me his best friend. We live in a very nice house in a great neighborhood with the best neighbors ever, I talk to my mom just about every day and I love my job. I’m also in school for my bachelors degree. I don’t know what else I could ask for. Keeping track of what my God has seen fit to shower me with is very humbling. For as much as I shop and accumulate “things” not one thing can ever replace what God has given me.

He is a wonderful, sovereign God. His ways are higher than ours and may his will be done, not ours. That is many times a hard pill to swallow. There have been many times in my life that I wouldn’t have chooses God’s will over my own. But time always passes and shows us that God is forever in control and his decisions are in fact the best for us. God’s sovereignty and love shine through every time.

Change Of Perspective

When we were first quarantined back in March I personally wasn’t freaked out if someone was “too close” to me, meaning less than 6 feet away. But as time went on and the Covid cases here escalated I grew very wary of anyone other than the people I live with being less than 6 feet away. I didn’t go many places during that time; mainly food shopping and the occasional trip to Home Depot with my husband. We started and completed a few; had to be done house projects.

Now things are opening up and we are still wearing masks. I don’t get nervous being around close family for example my mom or sister. During the height of quarantine I was nervous to be around my mom as she was really afraid of contracting Covid. I was afraid that I was carrying it unknowingly and would transfer it to her. My mom lives in NJ and they are one phase ahead of us in re-opening.

So Thursday afternoon I ventured to nearby Bayonne NJ to have a pedicure. Nail salons have reopened in NJ. The salon had hard, clear plastic barriers between the pedicure chairs and also between me and the nail person with a cut out square where my feet went. Everyone was wearing a mask. While eves dropping I discovered I wasn’t the only patron from NY. Anyway I felt that the salon was crowded. I’m not aware of the rules of how many people can be together in one place, or how big the establishment needs to be to accommodate so many people. So anyway I did get the pedicure but left about 5 minutes after sitting at the dryer. I wasn’t comfortable being so close to people. Now I wonder if I’ll still be uncomfortable in the near future as my state continues to open back up. I spend my hours at work wearing a mask. I don’t see that changing anytime soon in the future.

Home Again!

Tommy and I drove back from our friends’ lake house yesterday. We left around 10:30 in the morning and arrived home about 4 hrs later at 2:30 in the afternoon. It was really great to be home. I totally missed my girls and they missed me (which I think is incredibly awesome!)

Alyssa made dinner: a delicious chicken Florentine with roasted tomatoes and garnished with fresh basil. And for dessert she made a peach tart from scratch. She’s a great cook; not afraid to try new things and she really enjoys doing it. There has been many an evening before the quarantine when I would be working late and Alyssa would text me that she was making dinner. I wanted to go through the phone and hug her!

So I begin working for the summer today. I’m still in a bit of disbelief that I was given the opportunity to work for the summer. I was making arraignments to work for an agency that I worked for before being hired by the DOE. Just for the summer. As I was trying to make that happen my supervisor called with the offer for the summer working DOE. I then had to get back to the agency and cancel those plans. All is well, and set in place.

Today was the first day and it went pretty quick. The kids are young and very typical. I’m not used to that. This one little boy scraped his elbow and when I went to wash it, he kinda freaked out a little, he was afraid it would hurt. (He did let me wash it and it did not hurt). The students in my regular school albeit a bit older in chronological age but not developmentally would never question me when I would tell them to wash a cutie the hand hand or finger. They would just do it. I prefer the students in my school over typical students in a regional school, not just because of the boy’s reaction and back talk today but I really love my students. I understand them and I get it as a parent. I’ve been fortunate that my girls being so typical have allowed me to visit the world of typical parenting; while I was simultaneously living in the world of special needs parenting. I love my kids. I really have the best of both worlds.

At The Lake!

We have awesome friends, Bill and Martha who own a vacation home in the Adirondack mountains. About 25 minutes or so from Lake George. It’s simply beautiful up here. The house is right across the street from Loon Lake and they have lake front property and access to Loon Lake. Yesterday Tommy and I arrived here early and took their boat out on the lake. Bill and Martha have a pontoon boat which is pretty much a very, very comfortable living room with a motor on the water.

I found out today that I am to begin work on Monday. I thought the start date was July 1st. Guess not. A minor adjustment and not a big deal. What is a big deal is that my time of working changed from AM shift to PM shift. I do not want the PM shift. So I emailed my nursing director asking her to please change my shift. I’m waiting for an answer.

So anyway we’re up at this beautiful house and spent lunch and the afternoon on the pontoon boat. Bill and Tommy were fishing while Martha and I just sat back and enjoyed the sun. It was a great time. The weather is beautiful and so is the scenery. In the background are mountains and everything is so lovely and green! Tommy caught 3 fish, I believe they were perch and kind of small so he threw them back. Still it was cool that he caught them. Up here they are in I think phase 3 of quarantine. We were able to eat inside a restaurant last night, but we were the only people there. I don’t know how many people they are allowed to have in the restaurant at one time. There were also tables and chairs outside with only one couple seated.

We have dinner reservations tonight at a restaurant, I don’t know if we’re eating outside or in. We shall see.

Working This Summer

I received a call from my supervisor asking if I would be interested in taking a nursing position at an enrichment center in Brooklyn. My first instinct was to just say, “No” and I did just that. But then I shut my mouth and got quiet and let my supervisor speak. I hate when my mouth is quicker than my brain. Turns out the location in Brooklyn is right over the bridge. Perfect. So I quickly backtracked and accepted the job. I didn’t think I had a chance to work for the DOE this summer. Nurses were being chosen based on seniority and I don’t have a lot of time in. Instead I had contacted an agency I worked for before I was hired by the DOE. I was hoping they had work for me that would last for the summer. I had just sent over my updated resume to the agency when my supervisor called. Talk about timing! I quickly wrote the agency people an email rescinding my availability and left off on good terms.

I start work in Brooklyn July 1st. The 4th of July falls on a Saturday this year so we have July 3rd off to make up for the holiday. I’m not complaining. I also begin my second semester of school on July 1st. It should be an interesting time. My first class is “Care of the elderly patient.” I’m not particularly interested in care of the elderly to be honest. But I guess I should get myself interested by the time July 1st rolls around.

I’m hoping for a great semester of course. Last semester went relatively fast and I had great support from the course instructors. Hopefully this semester will be similar.