That one New Year’s Eve

I didn’t mention in my last post that it was December 31st (New Year’s Eve) when Tommy and I decided Thomas should go back in the psychiatric hospital.  

My friend Diane met us in the emergency room. She was a wonderful friend to have there to Thomas and I. Thomas was nervous and very well behaved much to my frustration. I was terrified that they wouldn’t admit him if his behavior wasn’t witnessed by the ER staff. I told the ER doctor what had been going on at home and about the recent hospitalization. The doc seemed to be unsure about readmitting Thomas but up I was adamant about it. I couldn’t imagine taking Thomas back home after all we had been through since the discharge. After about 4 hours in the emergency room and the resident conferring with other people, Thomas was admitted. We said good bye to Diane and I went with Thomas up to the unit to say good bye to him. He knew what was going on and of course was upset but it had to be. I told Thomas his Dad and I would be up the next day to visit and said good night. The time was about 10:30 pm and I wanted to get home before midnight. I had an hours drive ahead of me.

I remember driving on the Kosciuszko Bridge towards home and looking over at all the lights of Brooklyn. The who world seemed so wrapped up in the fact that it was New Year’s Eve mean while I had just admitted my son to the psych ward. Weird. The lights were so beautiful.

I arrived home about 11:45 pm. Tommy was waiting for me with our close friend Brant. I remember Tommy hugging me and Brant pouring a glass of wine for me. Tommy did ask how Thomas was but other than that we didn’t talk much about Thomas, what more was there to say? I had a couple of glasses of wine and Tommy, Bramt and I just hanging out and talking and joking about nothing in particular. I know that was just what was needed at that time, no heavy conversation or tears necessary.

I wish I could say the doctors made things “right” during this admission but I can’t. I remember this admission I felt very defensive as the resident that was assigned to Thomas kept saying that Thomas’ triggers were due to his environment. I wondered if the staff thought I had an unorganized household. No one ever reassured me that wasn’t the case. The resident also suggested residential school. This was totally uncharted territory and to top it off the social worker wasn’t much help as we were not in a local hospital where she would know local resources to help us.

Thomas was discharged and Dr.F had returned from vacation so we were able to resume Thomas on his previous meds and trial other meds to curb the aggression. By February Thomas needed to be admitted again. This time Dr. F recommended a facility in Westchester NY, two hours away. We agreed since there wasn’t any local hospital that was recommended. We also wanted the best for our son.

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