Another Mom’s View

This morning I ran into a mom I met through one of Thomas’ recreation programs.  Her name is Janice and she’s such a nice person.  Her son is not as high functioning as my son and she works so hard to make sure he is in the correct programs.  Her son is in his early twenties I believe.  Anyway, it was so nice to see her, I told her Thomas  wasn’t attending the recreation program anymore as he’s now in a residential school.  Her face immediately changed and she said to me, “You love your son so much that you did this for him, you got him into a residential school for him. You and your husband made that decision and I know it was hard. You really love him. I don’t think I love my son as much because I can’t let him go.” Turns out Janice’s son was in a residential placement a few years ago but she was very unhappy with how he was treated so she took him out.

I almost fell over hearing her say those words. Fell over at the fruit and vegetable stand we were chatting in. I told her that of course she loves her son that she did do residential but it didn’t work out, it wasn’t the right time. And I mean every word I said, I’m not one to patronize.

We chatted more about our sons, I gave a quick summary of Thomas’ behavior that ultimately led to us having to chose residential. Janice completely understood and said her son isn’t as aggressive but some days are very difficult. I understood her.

These days Janice has created a program for her son and similar functioning young adults. There’s socialization and activities, I was so impressed with what she has created and now has up and running. It’s amazing really.

It really shows how God works. If her son had stayed in residential, I wonder if would she had been as driven to create this program ? It’s also amazing that I ran into her now, not when I would have burst into tears trying to explain things. Today I was able to hold a normal conversation which is what one is supposed to do. It was nice to talk to another mom of a special needs child.

It was very nice to hear someone “in the know” say that I love my son so much but I don’t think I love my son anymore than she loves hers.

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