Back to school and the job hunt

So now with September looming on the horizon and everyone returning to school and me with nursing license in hand, I’m actively job hunting and actually did send my resume in for one job that peaked my interest. I’m actually nervous that I’ll get an interview. I do realize that an interview is the next logical step and usually most desired next step. I have to remind myself that I am not in control and I never was. God is choreographing every next step and the way he is paving can only be for my good and his glory. I need to remember this, tattoo it on my brain somehow. I do hope to get an interview, nervousness aside.

I’m taking CPR certification next weekend. I’m looking forward to getting that card as many job postings require that training. I had my PPD (tuberculosis test) placed and it was negative. So I am moving along but not as fast as I want to. I want everything yesterday. I want the CPR class done yesterday. But that is not the way it’s supposed to go. I’ve also contacted a the nursing board for NJ for information of how to obtain my license in the Great Garden State. That will open up more job opportunities. There have been one or two I would have liked to apply for if I’d already had my NJ license.

I’m grateful for a God who will makes things work together for my good. I’m grateful for feeling good, that the depression isn’t holding me down and keeping me down. I’m grateful for an awesome combo of meds put together by my wonderful doctor. I haven’t seen my therapist since June. Between her and my vacation plans and Alyssa working for most of the summer making her unavailable to watch Samantha, we both decided to take a hiatus until September. I’m pleased to say I’ve been “ok”. I have been in contact with Nancy via email and if I really needed her she’s only a phone call away. Thankfully I haven’t needed to call her. I haven’t been in a place where it was necessary. And for that I’m so grateful.

The thing is…

I’m still on the fence about working as a nurse. Some days I get caught up in the job listings and see all sort of potential and then there are days I’m nervous as anything. Is this for real? Can I do this? According to the state board of Nursing website, I am now “registered” which means my license has been renewed. I have yet to receive the paper version of which. I’m sure I’ll receive it by mail within the next few days.

I have to keep reminding myself that it is not my will that shall be done but The Lord’s will. If I’m meant to work He will find the perfect job for me. One that will not cause strife within my family due to kids’ school schedule/conflicts. As He’s shown in the past if it is to be, it will be perfect. I have to keep reminding myself of this. Such as Thomas’ school. The Lord chose this school for Thomas, He made it happen. He was the one who made all the pieces fit. We just stood by and watched it happen. I have to remember this. And remember God doesn’t let us down, He has his own agenda which is usually way different than ours.

So I’ve been googling job openings for office jobs in my area. There are a few that have my interested peaked but now is not the right time to go applying. We will be going on vacation, then the kids will start school. I’m thinking after vacation I can start applying. Another hurry up and wait scenario but to be honest I’m looking forward to vacation. So anyway after vacation, will I be called right away for an interview? Will I even get an interview? These are scenarios I feel my confidence wavering in. I’m sure this is all normal for someone who’s been out of the work force as long as I have.

This should all be interesting when it all plays out.

Waiting.

So right now I’m waiting for the Board of Nursing to receive my license renewal. Waiting. Waiting stinks. “Hurry up and wait” is how I feel about most things that aren’t immediate gratification. I’m so curious as to how my job search is going to go. Where will I end up? I’ve already googled some search terms that I’m interested in and surprisingly there were a couple of prospects open. I’m not na├»ve enough to believe I’ll be hired at once, but it’s nice to day dream a bit. You know, since I now have this time to wait.

Waiting. It could be worse I suppose. I could have been fined heavily for not renewing my license years ago when I was supposed to. But I wasn’t. Honestly, it was an act of defiance for me to NOT renew it. Like I was trying to burn a bridge. But that bridge wasn’t burned it was merely put out of service for a while.

I’m thinking it is the Lord’s plan for me to wait. Waiting for Him to set into motion the plan He has for my life. I’m hoping since this seems to be the right direction that he’ll throw open a couple of door or maybe windows my way. You never know. I think of the many times I’ve prayed and desperately needed Him to open a door and bam! There was that door wide open. Amazing. In a way only God could maneuver. There is no other explanation.

So I wait. And wonder which door The Lord will open. Which window if not a door? I’m looking forward to this journey.

Going forward after stepping back.

Many of you know I am a registered nurse but I haven’t worked as a nurse in about 9 years. I left my last office job shortly before I became pregnant with Samantha who is now 8yrs old. I swore I wouldn’t work as a nurse again. Swore up down and sideways: nope not going back. I tried doing retail (which I loved by the way) but the schedule was too demanding for our family. I tried my own business of reselling my awesome thrift finds but that didn’t work out either. So now I find myself job hunting with no real skills other than nursing skills. The only thing I’m skilled to do is what I swore off doing. I’m also watching friends of mine returning to school to study… you guessed it; nursing. Here I am already armed with that education and some experience and I can’t even get a job at Trader Joes.

So now I find myself calling the State Board of Nursing to inquire about renewing my license that I had let lapse. It’s no big deal to renew, I have to pay a small fee and take an infection control class (The OCD/neurotic in me already did that right after calling the Board of Nursing). I’m on my way. I’m wondering if this is what’s meant to be. When I say to myself, “You’re a nurse” it just feels “right”. Is this the path the Lord has meant for me for these past years and I fought Him tooth and nail kicking my feet, with nothing else working out? I believe the answer to be yes. I laugh at myself and how determined I was to NOT work in this field again. Then there I am making that phone call.

But now I’m wondering who will hire me after being out of the loop for 9 years. I’m cautiously optimistic as I do believe if this is what God wants me to do, He will also provide a job for me that will be perfect for me and perfect for the needs of my family. I’m sure I’ll be uncomfortable and downright scared but I have to have faith it will work out. My life is in no other hands but His.