I went to bible study last night and was struck by a conversation surrounding how the enemy likes to strike us down, we then question “why me God?” And wonder why He even chose us to follow Him.
I started going back to church and accepted Christ as my savior when things were going well in my life. Thomas was living at home we had a wonderful counselor for him who came to the house to work on various goals such as going to the stores and paying for items, etc… She easily became part of our family. Life was really good.
Fast forward a year or so and Thomas was having potentially dangerous side effects to one of his medications. We
had to change his meds and it was disastrous. He became aggressive towards me and I was forced to call an ambulance more than once to preserve my safety and Thomas was hospitalized many times. I felt like my world was falling apart. This was
also when the depression started settling in. I remember feeling far from God. That he moved away from me. I even had a dream that I was praying and I had a big glass dome over me and my prayers couldn’t get past the glass to reach God.
At no time did I stop believing or blame God. I did become angry at him but I did not feel forsaken, just separate and broken.
I find it so interesting that He chose me to return to Him and accept Christ during a “good” season in my life and then the storms hit. I kept praying even though I felt so far away. One particular storm lasted for years (the depression).
During this season of my life things are nice. Not stress free but calm. I know He has great plans that have yet to be revealed. And even though I had a season of feeling separate from Him, God never left me.