I went out with friends last night. We had a great time and caught up with people we haven’t seen in too long. It was nice, really nice to see friends whose lives are now completely different than yours. These were friends whose lives were intertwined with ours for many years. Friends from high school and a little beyond high school. Then we all chose our paths and find ourselves in different lives than we originally started out.
A very good friend of mine was asking questions about Thomas and our decision to have Thomas live at a residential school. It will be 5 years this summer that Thomas has lived away from home. My friend wasn’t being disrespectful in the least he was asking from a place of caring and love. He said he couldn’t fathom the life Tommy and I were living before Thomas went to residential. He also couldn’t imagine him in our shoes. That meant a lot to me. Honestly I can’t imagine anyone going through what we went through. Police cars pulling up with the ambulance I called to help me with my out of control son. The memories are still fresh and perhaps in time could become dull~maybe… I don’t know. Like I said it’s almost 5 years and I’ve only recently this past year come out of the depression I was thrown into as a result of living in that manner. I’m glad my friend feels comfortable enough with me to ask those questions and I’m glad I was able to have that honest conversation with him.
It wasn’t all deep serious conversation believe me there were plenty of laughs and remembering a lot of good times we all had together. Silly things we did when we were younger and the people who we hung out with. The jobs we have now and where we’re all working.
At some point late in the night I was sitting with one of my dear friends and he asked me when did I become so religious? I stammered in answering him. “I’m not religious” I answered. What I desperately wanted to say was “I’m not religious I have a relationship”. But perhaps because it was so late I couldn’t get the words out. I was pretty taken aback by that question and I can totally understand why he asked me that. I wasn’t saved back in high school. I mean I believed in our Lord Jesus Christ and I knew he died for me but I didn’t “get it”. I didn’t get that He was my Savior and I desperately needed a Savior. I’ve been saved for about 8 years now. It’s been 8 years since I’ve begun my walk with the Lord and accepted Him as my Savior. At that time in the night (or early morning) I didn’t know how to explain all that to my friend. I wish I could go back and answer him the way I *should* have. But God orchestrates everything and it’s no accident I was asked that question and in retrospect it’s also no accident that I answered the way that I did. Only God knows what is in my heart.
I’m so glad we went out last night and were able to get together with such great people. To reminisce and also see each other in the here and now. To see how some of us have changed in certain ways and how some of us haven’t changed at all; the way we talk and the way we don’t talk anymore. I look forward to getting together again.