A New Year

I am ready to say farewell to 2016. During this past year my father in law passed away, my Dad was diagnosed with liver and colon cancer. My Mom was diagnosed with bladder cancer. She had to undergo two surgeries with more surgery to come. That is after she finishes chemotherapy.

I took it hard when my Dad was diagnosed but I think I took it harder when my Mom was diagnosed. My Mom has always been the strong one. The “everything ¬†going to be alright” one. When her diagnosis hit I was assaulted with the reality of the mortality of my Mom. I was already reeling from the hit of the same concerning my Dad. My world was out of my control and I wanted the storm to stop. Thankfully I have my faith. I prayed and prayed for both my parents. I prayed for wisdom and clarity for their doctors. Finally I prayed and laid everything at the Lord’s feet. I laid out my fears to Him and I felt a peace about both my parents and their health. No matter what happens it will be according to God’s plan. They are both believers so I am not concerned with their salvation. I am still worried about them but not the frantic panic of incessant worry I felt in the beginning.

I call my mom quite often. I always have. sometimes life gets in the way but I like to touch base with her. When she was recovering from surgery and the diagnosis of her cancer was raw I’d call everyday. As long as I could talk to her everything would be fine is how I felt. I don’t call as often these days. I don’t feel that urgent need anymore. I know that God has his hand on us and we are under His care. Nothing is going to happen that isn’t under His ever present watchful eye. His ways are higher than ours.

 

 

Merry Christmas ūüéĀ!

It’s two days before Christmas and I *think* I’m done. ¬†Done shoppping and just about done wrapping presents. This year was different in terms of when and how I did my shopping. It’s the first year of me working full time so I did more online shopping this year. That worked out great as most of the packages were free shipping so yay!

It’s a bit of a somber Christmas what with my father in law passing in October and my Dad battling liver cancer. I’ve learned to not take anyone for granted. You truly never know who will be with you one year and not the next. But God is still good and shows Himself in ways that are always unexpected.

This past school year I was terribly worried about Samantha and which junior high she would attend next year for 6th grade. By the middle of October she was enrolled in a charter school that called me for an unexpected opening they had. This school includes junior high and even high school should Samantha choose to attend. So far it’s been a great experience and I’m glad she made the move. I truly believe God’s hand was on this because the timing was unbelievably perfect. And perfect is the only timing that God knows.

I have another example of God’s perfect timing. I received a phone call from the owner of the agency who runs the group home we’ve been waiting for Thomas to move in to. He called to wish me an early Merry Christmas and tell me that Thomas will be able to move to the group home in January, 2017. My daughter who heard the phone call conversation exclaimed, “God moved!!” She had heard me say enough times that Thomas will move when God wants him to move. Needless to say I’m thrilled for Thomas and our family since this move will make it so much easier to see him and take him out for dinner or shopping or whatever we want to do with him since the group home is 10 minutes from our house.

God is so good and I’m excited to see how He’ll move in the new year.

I have a wonderful, loving husband, healthy children; a great job that I like doing *and*¬†I’ve been working with wonderful, very welcoming people. I can’t ask for more. The only thing I miss slightly ¬†is Manhattan. I wouldn’t give this job up to work full time in the city but it was nice to do so on a part time basis. I miss the commute believe it or not. I liked the ferry and leaving this island where I live for a few hours a day, a few days a week. There’s a certain anonymity you feel when you’re in the city. It’s almost like a mini vacay from your everyday life. I need to get back there.

Merry Christmas!  I hope it is merry and bright.

Attention

I’ve been working full time now for about 6-8 weeks. I really like it. I like having a purpose outside of being “Mom” the way I’ve been for pretty much the past 20 years give or take a few years here and there when I worked a part time job.

Our children are at a point in their lives where they don’t require my constant attention. That doesn’t mean they still don’t want¬†my constant attention. Work itself is not particularly stressful. In fact I enjoy the work I do. I like the challenges and meeting and working with different people. Each day is interesting.

The stress isn’t from work. It’s when I get home. I’m not tired from work. I do get tired and stressed from trying to start dinner and help Samantha with her homework at the same time. It was during that certain frustrating scenario that Alyssa proclaimed,”I don’t like ‘working’ Mom”. Because I wasn’t all sweet and patient and more importantly I wasn’t paying attention to her. I will admit that Alyssa did make me laugh with her statement. And I replied, “Well I don’t like, ‘stressed out, trying to help Samantha with her homework Mom'”. We all had a laugh over that one.

You think when your children get older they won’t need you as much. I find the opposite to be true. The older my kids get they do need ¬†attention they need but in a different way. Alyssa needs to talk to me on a daily basis and I love that. Lelly is the same. She needs to touch base with me even if it’s just a text to say hello. Lelly also loves to be hugged. At age 15, it’s really sweet.

I know I’m the same way with my own mother. ¬†I need her attention here and there. I usually speak to my mom a few times a week most recently; everyday. I need to touch base with her and make sure she is “ok”.