He brings me back…

It’s Saturday night and we took Thomas out for dinner. It was planned a week in advance and he was totally looking forward to it. Every time he called this past week he would remind us, as if we’d forget.

We made the 2 hour with traffic ride to his school and arrived at a local restaurant. Thomas was quite talkative asking me if I took the Christmas tree down, telling me he had a nice Christmas and ticked off  all his gifts and adding what he would be taking with him to the group home (when/if that happens this month as we were told). It was a nice conversation, one I really enjoyed.

Then out of nowhere Thomas asked me if I remember bringing him to his school. The question hung there suspended as I was immediately like lightening brought back to that day. How could I ever forget?

It was a Friday the middle of June. It was warm out but not hot. It was just Thomas and me. The two of us. I didn’t want to ask anyone else to come and Tommy was at work. We didn’t talk much and I was fine just listening to my usual Christian music radio station. We hit terrible traffic at the George Washington Bridge and arrived at the school 45 minutes later than planned. I remember filling out all this paper work amd meeting the staff. They wanted to take Thomas outside and before I could ask them to put sunscreen on him, I was told it was already applied. The time had finally come to hand over Thomas’ medications. To me that was the final straw, the last little bit of what little control I had left…his meds…I gave them to the nurse who somehow understood that was my end. I said goodbye to Thomas who was already comfortable. It wasn’t a difficult goodbye. Thomas is extremely resilient, a gift bestowed upon him by God there’s no other explanation for how adaptive he is to extreme circumstances.

I finally left the school without him. I walked to my car and wanted to throw up. I immediately called Tommy I don’t even remember what I said but I was crying; hard. I calmed down and got in the car and started the drive home again listening to the same Christian music station that brought me there.

In a flash I was in the restaurant again and answered, “Of course I remember bringing you to your school.”

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