Worry and Kids

I wish I knew beforehand how much I would worry about my children. I understand now that one never stops worrying about their child even when they are adults as per many conversations with my mother and my in laws.

When they are babies and young children you worry more about yourself as a parent. Am I doing the right thing? Am I making the right decision? Is this the best school for him/her? The list goes on. Samantha has made me worry more than the girls out together. Oh crap she’s being bullied at school, oh crap her reaction to that situation could have really been better. I’ve had more conversations with that child of how I didn’t raise her to act in xyz manner.

I’ve noticed I worry about my high schooler, Lelly. Is she happy? Is she making the right choice of program at school? Have I given her the best advice? OMG she was chosen to be an exchange student for the next school year…am I happy ? Yes; am I worried? Of course I am. She’ll be in Europe, hardly a hop, skip and jump away. I can quiet that worry with the fact that this won’t happen for a matter of months. So there is time…It helps tremendously that Lelly talks to me. She’ll tell me what’s going on in her school life and areas that aren’t apparent and in my face.

Alyssa, my college student; I don’t think I worry too much about her. More like concerned and interested in her life. Thank God she is very open with me about her life and various situations ranging from college classes, transferring colleges, friends, her job, her GPA, etc…Alyssa likes to talk and I enjoy listening.

Thomas, oh my Thomas. The child that has caused me to question my parenting  on a daily basis when he was younger. It didn’t help that I had an extremely unsupportive pediatrician. There were too many times I was blown off with my many concerns. It was crazy I know now looking back. And it wasn’t me with the problem, it was her. She was ill equipped to provide care to a kid as complex as Thomas and failed to realize and admit it. I’m glad I had the courage to rebuke her and sought help on my own for him. There was a lot of prayer going on at that time. Prayer for direction and the Lord never failed me.

Like my parents and their parents before them I know now I’ll never stop worrying about my children no matter how old they get. I suppose my way will most likely be better than their way but I have to understand that it is their life. At this stage I watch in silent observation as my oldest daughter makes life decisions. What classes she’s taking in college, what kind of job(s) she’s doing to make extra money.  I watch how she handles herself and I’m proud of her. I also have the option of voicing my opinion. An option I decline at this time.

Nothing anyone can tell you or any book you read can properly prepare you for what it is like to be a parent. You can read books about parenting techniques and apply those techniques as you see fit but I don’t think those books can help with the worrying aspect. A very wise woman once told me, “You’re only as happy as your most miserable child”.  How true.

 

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