Believing the Good

For my new job I had to collect letters of employment verification. Essentially letters from former employers stating that I did work there as stated on my resume. One letter was short and sweet; just stated the facts and that is ok it’s all I need. Other letters however made me sit back and remember what it was like to work for that employer. One such letter was from when I worked for a private practice  physician. The letter was full of praise and compliments in addition to verifying that I did work there. I felt like blushing when I read it and wondered if what he wrote was indeed true. Part of me thinks he just writes the same thing about everyone but then I think why would he go the extra step if it wasn’t true? It’s funny how we are our worst critic. I know for me it’s easier to believe the not so great things I say to myself about me than to believe the really nice things someone is actually saying to me.

Before I began to lead a bible study group for mom’s of special needs children, my good friend and mentor wrote for me a letter of recommendation, that she felt I could lead the group among other incredibly positive things about me. I almost fell over reading that letter. The woman who wrote it is a very honest person and doesn’t sugar coat things. Traits I really admire in a friend. So I know the positive things she wrote about me truly came from her heart. While I loved reading her letter I doubted what she said as truth. Why do we do that? We doubt the good and positive others see in us.

I remember when I first came to Christ as an adult. I accepted Him as my Savior. I was so happy to be born again as His child. And then I met the Lord, it was amazing! But…I still had a hard time back then believing that I deserved to be saved. That I wasn’t good enough for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I was too sinful of a person. Even though He met me where I was (on more than one occasion) and even though I knew the Gospel I still doubted whether I was worthy of His sacrifice.

Today things are different. I am confident in who I am in Christ. I am the daughter of a King and the Lord loves me I spite of my sins. When it comes to people however I still have a hard time believing the praise bestowed upon me. Such as what was written by my mentor and more recently, former employers. Today is a good day to start. To start believing what was said to be true, to be confidant. I printed out the email of the letter from the physician. I’ll keep a copy to remind myself of the positive.

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