A New Normal

I feel like that’s what is happening now. After the wake and after the funeral we must settle into a new normal. A new normal life without my dad. I know I am not unique in feeling this way. I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit. But I know this is what life is now. There are so many sayings to comfort those that are grieving. That we should hold on to memories, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”, I can’t think of more; mostly because those sayings mean nothing to me right now.

So many people have reached out to my family and I during this difficult transition. Meals were sent as well as sympathy and Mass cards, flowers, fruit, texts and phone calls. We appreciate every single gesture.

Today is my first day of my new normal while at work. I am glad to be going to work, I missed the kids I care for and my co workers. I never told anyone at work where or when my dad was being waked or when the funeral was. It wasn’t because I didn’t want them there I simply did not think of it, I could think of little more than my grief. One classroom that I’m always in and out of due to the large number of medically fragile students they have sent me 2 sympathy cards. One card with each child’s name stamped and one card that was signed by all the staff in that room along with heartfelt sentiments.  I was quite touched by that gesture. I’ve only been at this job since this past  October but those cards tell me that I’m family now.

So here’s to a new normal even though I know I’ll be fighting it every step of the way.

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