Grief

The grieving process. It’s so individual. No two people grieve the same way. There are so many factors involved. Who that person was to you, how close a bond you had, things you did together, was the person who passed on good to you, good to others?

My dad passed away February of this year. I still have a hard time talking about him. Writing about him is equally as difficult. Every single time I break down in tears. I know daddy wasn’t perfect but in my eyes he was the perfect dad to me and my siblings. Did he do everything “right?” No…but show me a parent who has. Daddy was fiercely loyal to us and that is something I love remembering about him. That and how he had a story that happened in his life that applied to just about anything you talked to him about. He was well known for his sense of humor and making other people laugh. And he had a phrase for just about any situation. My favorite is him saying it was a “shoppers sky” anytime any of us went shopping and brought home a great haul.

Freaking grieving process. It’s so easy to read about the 5 stages of grief and put other people in their stage, but try and put yourself in a stage. Not so easy. I *think* I’m in the “acceptance” stage. From what I’ve read it’snow where you say everything is ok. In fact it’s not “ok” but you’ve accepted the reality that this person is gone and that is the new reality. You don’t have to like the new reality. I remember thinking those thoughts recently. That “Ok, daddy’s not coming back and this is how things are going to be from now on.” That thought brought me to tears that day and does now just writing it out.

My faith keeps me strong in my grief for I know daddy is not only with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ but he’s also with those that have gone before him and the joy and happiness he feels has got to be indescribable! I’m reminded of Romans 8:18 “The pain that you’ve been feeling can’t compare to the joy that’s coming.” That joy has got to be amazing and simply incredible. I look forward to that joy with every fiber of my being.

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