A Quarter Of A Century plus 1

Twenty six years ago we said “I do.” I remember how solemn I felt taking those vows. There’s not much I have not remembered about that day as most brides do vividly remember their wedding day. Tommy and I lived together for 9 months before we were married. It was a nice time and I never pretended we were married, we were too busy planning the actual wedding. I remember after saying those vows feeling different towards Tommy, not in a bad way but more like we were now one, our own little family and it was official. We were married in the eyes of God and the law. To me getting married was much more than a “piece of paper”. It was promising in the presence of God to stay by each other parting only by death. That’s heavy and sobering.

Every marriage has highs and lows, peaks and valleys, good times and horrible times. But when you’re able to overcome those lows and times in the valley you grow. You grow as a person and you could even grow together as a couple. My marriage is far from perfect. I don’t know anyone who’s marriage is perfect. And if they say it is they’re lying. I have no perfect advice to give to newlyweds. What works for one couple may not work for another. Some people have to go to bed angry or they will be up all night arguing, going around in circles and that’s not healthy either.

I was friends with my husband before we started dating. It was nice to have had that time with Tommy. We went to concerts, hung out together with no pressure. However I remember one of my good friends back in high school mentioning that she was interested in him and when I told Tommy about her I downplayed the whole thing and made it seem like they wouldn’t be a good match. It was then that I realized I wanted him for myself. And the rest as they say is history. Twenty six married years later we are still friends. To this day he makes me laugh like no other. We’ve laughed together at the most inappropriate situations and we’ve cried together at the saddest of times. I think you need to cry together at least once, we are only human.

So tonight a day late, we are celebrating the 26 years we’ve been married. We began dating when we were 17 years old so we’ve been together at total of 32 years. Wow that’s a lot of years. I don’t often calculate that total. We’ve been fortunate in many ways over the years. I’d say the good times outweigh the bad times. And that’s good.

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