I’m on my way to an appointment in Manhattan so I’m on the ferry today. I’ve missed riding it to and from Manhattan. I’ve missed the people watching opportunities. I don’t really have that option at my current job not that it stops me from people watching anyway. Even if it’s mostly the same people everyday; they don’t act the same everyday.
I’ve been giving a lot of though about giving my concerns and anxiety over to God they way he tells us to in the Bible. 1Peter 5:7 (NIV) “7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” So easy to read; so difficult to do. It was difficult I should say. The more I put this verse into practice the easier it becomes. I have to say it out loud to The Lord, my worries and anxieties that is.
I’ve readily handed over to The Lord the issue of Thomas and his group home placement. I no longer worry about The when/how/why/etc… It’s in Gods hands. It’s always been in His hands. I finally chose to accept it and hand over my worry to Him. I no longer get upset at how long this process has been taking. It’s ok, Gods timing hasn’t occurred yet for Thomas to move on.
The same goes for my Dad and his cancer. I’ve recently handed over to The Lord my dad and his chemotherapy treatments to The Great Physician. Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals. This was a tough one but made easier with repetition. I’m now at the point where I fully believe my Dad and his medical treatments are in the hands of the great I Am.
Thy will be done. His will is not always what you or I would want but what God’s will is and what He deems best. His ways are higher than ours and I know if I pray continuously and with passion I do feel his embrace and I’m able to lean on my Lord and Savior. He will not leave you and absolutely meets you where you are. Even on the ferry .
Since my dad has been diagnosed with cancer. I keep going between being “okay” and not being ok, like holding back tears not being ok. I find myself in prayer quite often. Praying for my dad, praying for more time, praying for God’s holy hand of healing to gather the cancer cells and whisk them away as only God can do. I ask The Father to give my mother strength and to keep her healthy. I pray for God to give my dads doctors the wisdom to treat him with the best possible medical treatments and therapies that exists. I pray for wise and compassionate nurses to care for him.
I have plenty of prayer warriors from church and outside church praying for my dad and my family and that touches my heart is such a special way. Because I know people mean it when they say they will pray for us.
I was able to spend most of my afternoon yesterday with my dad and mom in the hospital. As long as I was with my dad I felt fine and I felt like he was “fine” It’s when I’m not with him that my mind wanders and the worry and anxiety start to take over. Those are the times I need God the most. To lay the worry at His feet.
Today my dad is out of the ICU and in a regular room. I’m happy for the progress he’s made. I’m also glad I’ll be able to call him on his cell phone this way I can hear him being. “fine”
The new year has been ushered in and with it brought my father to the ER/hospital/admitted with pneumonia. It came on very suddenly. He was fine New Year’s day; by the next morning my mom was calling an ambulance and my dad was on his way to the hospital. So fast. He’s feeling much better today and is eagerly waiting to be discharged home.
I’ve always wondered what my dad thought of God and Jesus, did he believe? He’s the person that always came to my mind when our Pastor spoke about spreading the Gospel. The Lord has put it on my heart many times to talk to my Dad about Jesus but I pushed it aside. Today was different. I called my father at his hospital bed and told him I wanted to talk about his salvation and I wanted to be with him in heaven. Did he believe in Jesus? To my relief my father said that Yes he believes he just doesn’t go to church and was actually spurned and turned off to church when he was younger. I mentioned perhaps he could go to church with my Mom when she goes. He seemed open to that suggestion.
I’m glad I had this conversation with my dad. It started out a little difficult but became easier the more we talked. I firmly believe the Holy Spirit was prompting me and I’m grateful for that. I know I would say to myself, “but I don’t know what to say or how to say it” referring to talking about God or Jesus to people other than my friends from church or my church family. My bible study leader always said to not worry, the Holy Spirit will guide you and she’s right; He will and has.